Release Stressful Thoughts about Dating with The Work

In my last post I talked about the Zen of Dating and the benefits of dating with non-attachment. There isn’t a certain outcome that can be expected after a date, and it’s best (and most loving) to not expect anything at all. Even though it’s not always easy to see, the time you spent together was enough.

But, soon afterwards you may find yourself thinking thoughts like:

“Why isn’t he contacting me? He should.”

“Is he dating someone else? He shouldn’t.”

These thoughts are not helpful and can even be the source of self sabotage for the relationship. The best place for them is to be released into the ether.

But how exactly do you do that?

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The Zen of Dating

When I started dating a new guy after my breakup, I felt I had to reach out to him all the time. If he was going to get the message that I was interested, then it was up to me to to inform him…constantly. 

Whenever I didn’t hear from him within 24 hours I’d reach out to him by text:

“Good morning.”

“How are you?”  

“Whatcha doing?

“I miss you.”

Yes, this was my way of reminding him that I existed. For every moment  he was not texting me or making plans, I felt that he must’ve forgotten about me and moved on.

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My Ex’s New Girlfriend

It all began with the photographs we’d taken. On film. That’s how long we were together. When we first started dating I didn’t have a cell phone or a computer. I had given him my phone number on a piece of paper. And when we had our first real conversation it was over a telephone with a cord.

There was still a huge box of photographs to go through since I moved out after our break up. A lot of them were of him. Even more were of us. I decided it would be best to rip it off like a Band-Aid. And that’s exactly what I did. Continue reading “My Ex’s New Girlfriend”

4 Reasons Why Giving Head is Good For You

Your first thought may be that a man must have put me up to writing this blog post, but I actually wrote it for myself and for all the women like me. Women who want to be happy and healthy, as well as have hot thriving sex lives. It’s a common consensus that most all men enjoy being pleasured by someone’s mouth, but did you know that it’s also good for you? Here are four reasons why giving head benefits you as well.
 1. It prepares your body for sex
Biologically, sex starts in the mouth. It’s not a coincidence that intimacy begins with kissing and making out. Oral sex stimulates nerve centers in the mouth that signal to the rest of the body that intercourse is on the way. The more you engage your mouth on your man, the more you turn on your own body. That’s why fellatio is the ultimate in foreplay—not just for him, but for you.

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5 Ways To Attract A Sexually Dominant Man

There’s a certain type of man that women secretly pine for. He is strong and assertive, yet enlightened and gentlemanly. He’ll treat you with the utmost respect in the world, but in the bedroom he’ll bring you to your knees. So just how to you attract this man? Here are five ways that will make you irresistible to his type of masculinity.

  1. Don’t Initiate Contact

This probably is the most difficult one to follow but—don’t chase after a man unless you intend to be the dominant one in the relationship. For some women it’s what they prefer. But if you’d like the man to lead, then you must allow him to. It’s that simple. Don’t message him, don’t text, don’t call. Just respond sweetly to his advances. Keep in mind that if you want him to psychologically and sexually dominate you, then certainly he can text you.

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I Love You For Tonight

In college I dated a guy who I thought was the bee’s knees. The year was 1998. Grunge had given way to neo-hippie fusion a la Madonna. Desert raves and ecstasy were in vogue, and I’d ditched a perfectly handsome pre-law major to chase a boy with dreads who played congas in the Venice Beach drum circle.

On our first date we had sex. I don’t remember saying yes, but I definitely didn’t say no. I was nineteen and he was twenty five—a man as far as I was concerned. And he knew where my clitoris was. Not like the other college boys.

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He Asked Me To Wear Heels


When my friend suggested I sign up for online dating, I’ll admit I was apprehensive. I certainly didn’t expect to find myself in lust with a guy only a few weeks later. We had definite chemistry on the first date which ended in passionate kissing. He invited me over to his house for the second, and we both knew the night would end in more. He sent me a text the day before.

“Hmm…what are you gonna wear?”

“Any requests?”

“Heels and a skirt. And wear red lipstick.”

The dormant glamazon within me stirred. She rose to the surface once again. It called to her.

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5 Signs You Are On a First Date With an Alpha Male

Are you someone who enjoys the intensity of an Alpha male? Have you begun to reclaim your femininity and realize you are match to this masculine energy? If so, here are five signs that an Alpha male will give on the first date and even before. If you know what to look for, you can find out what kind of man you are dealing with right away.

  1. He Switches to Texting Quickly

If you’re meeting an Alpha online, he’ll typically switch from communicating through dating sites and apps to SMS texting with limited exchanges. A good rule of thumb is for him to offer you his number within 5-15 messages between the both of you. He’s a man of action. He doesn’t want a pen pal, he wants to meet you.

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