Release Stressful Thoughts about Dating with The Work

In my last post I talked about the Zen of Dating and the benefits of dating with non-attachment. There isn’t a certain outcome that can be expected after a date, and it’s best (and most loving) to not expect anything at all. Even though it’s not always easy to see, the time you spent together was enough.

But, soon afterwards you may find yourself thinking thoughts like:

“Why isn’t he contacting me? He should.”

“Is he dating someone else? He shouldn’t.”

These thoughts are not helpful and can even be the source of self sabotage for the relationship. The best place for them is to be released into the ether.

But how exactly do you do that?

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I Love You For Tonight

In college I dated a guy who I thought was the bee’s knees. The year was 1998. Grunge had given way to neo-hippie fusion a la Madonna. Desert raves and ecstasy were in vogue, and I’d ditched a perfectly handsome pre-law major to chase a boy with dreads who played congas in the Venice Beach drum circle.

On our first date we had sex. I don’t remember saying yes, but I definitely didn’t say no. I was nineteen and he was twenty five—a man as far as I was concerned. And he knew where my clitoris was. Not like the other college boys.

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