What is The Barefoot Romantic Blog?

Hello, my name is Eden and I want you to know it’s okay to be yourself.

Whatever type of sexuality you have, it’s okay. This sounds like a given, but it’s taken me a few decades to learn this–and I am still learning.

I was heavily slut shamed throughout my life which left me with trauma that caused me to subconsciously seek a mostly sexless relationship that lasted for fifteen years. My relationship, while wonderful, was a relief from the burden of my sexuality and from my sexual desires.

Eventually I realized although the people who shamed me were no longer in my life, I continued to repeat their sentiments to myself on a daily basis. I didn’t need them to make me feel bad anymore because I did a pretty good job of doing it myself. In fact I think I did it better.

Continue reading “What is The Barefoot Romantic Blog?”

Release Stressful Thoughts about Dating with The Work

In my last post I talked about the Zen of Dating and the benefits of dating with non-attachment. There isn’t a certain outcome that can be expected after a date, and it’s best (and most loving) to not expect anything at all. Even though it’s not always easy to see, the time you spent together was enough.

But, soon afterwards you may find yourself thinking thoughts like:

“Why isn’t he contacting me? He should.”

“Is he dating someone else? He shouldn’t.”

These thoughts are not helpful and can even be the source of self sabotage for the relationship. The best place for them is to be released into the ether.

But how exactly do you do that?

Continue reading “Release Stressful Thoughts about Dating with The Work”

The Zen of Dating

When I started dating a new guy after my breakup, I felt I had to reach out to him all the time. If he was going to get the message that I was interested, then it was up to me to to inform him…constantly. 

Whenever I didn’t hear from him within 24 hours I’d reach out to him by text:

“Good morning.”

“How are you?”  

“Whatcha doing?

“I miss you.”

Yes, this was my way of reminding him that I existed. For every moment  he was not texting me or making plans, I felt that he must’ve forgotten about me and moved on.

Continue reading “The Zen of Dating”

Sexual Expression is an Act of Bravery

Sexuality for me is a journey and I am exploring it with new eyes. Since recently becoming single after fifteen years, I have an opportunity to create the types of sexual relationships I choose and to express my sexuality in ways that I desire. But it’s scary, because I spent so long keeping it locked tightly away.

As a young girl I knew I was hyper sexual and expressing it came easily. One of my earliest memories is at four years old hiding in the closet with a neighbor friend after a bath. We took off our towels and explored each other’s bodies and it felt very natural to do so.

But quickly I learned that sex—while rampantly (and distortedly) displayed in media—was not something safe for me to express in my life.

I was heavily slut shamed. And the thing about slut shaming or any social conditioning is that after a while, you begin to do it to yourself—only harsher. Continue reading “Sexual Expression is an Act of Bravery”